We have to talk, how to avoid the damages of divorce It is a book by psychologist José Manuel Aguilar, one of the greatest experts on this subject.
In it the author explains how a divorce can be carried out when there are children involved. Explain what there is no ideal age in children, although there are ages when the child will be more able to assimilate the break.
However, it is better not to endure a relationship for the children, since the remedy can often be worse than the disease.
The author defends shared custody as the best option because "It is the main measure to reconcile the work and family life of women". This also prevents the father from becoming the call "dad Burger King", who only sees their children specific days and that is why they do not think too much about transmitting an education and values "Because total, for two days I see them". Aguilar also comments that it is necessary to prevent children from becoming a weapon. Must "prevent them from coming with a floor under the arm" and separate the goods, talk to them and explain to them that it is a mutual decision and that dad and mom will always be there, and, logically, allow them to express their concerns and doubts about it.
Of course it is a complicated issue, both economically (today it is very difficult to live on a single salary) and emotionally. I agree with the author that the best thing for everyone, and especially for children, is that they can be with both their father and their mother.
In case of being babies or rather small, I think that it is preferable that they spend more time with who have a greater bond, that is, with their primary reference, the one they come to in case of "maximum need" (a fall, hunger, etc.) for later, when they are older, share time with the two indistinctly.
The purpose should always be to think about them and their well-being, without using them, being honest, talking with them whenever they need it. I have a feeling that this is not usually the case (Patricia's Diary has done a lot of damage in my mind), but I hope, for the sake of the children, that parents take it into account so they grow as happy as possible with parents who respect and respect them, Nonetheless.
