Recent mothers suffer a profound intimate change. Both your hormones and your feelings are in effervescence. The oxytocin, the love hormone, runs through your veins. They are happy but at the same time overwhelmed by fatigue and doubts. They feel a melancholy that can lead to depression.
During the puerperium, according to Laura Gutman, women meet their own shadow, with memories and fears not completely assumed. All that removes the inside of the heart. And also many times we insist on doing it all alone and keeping the house in order becomes a nightmare. Recent moms sometimes don't have time to shower, so who's going to be ironing? Nor is it time to meet as hosts. We must not "comply." All this makes the landing in the new motherhood overwhelming, more than it already is.
To enjoy a happy puerperium, it is necessary to return to simple things and to meet oneself. Things so simple that we don't always realize how important they are. Take care of yourself and let them take care of you, because you have to take care of your baby. Here are some things that you need to keep in mind. I call them the ten pillars for a happy puerperium:
- Surrender to link. Enjoy the crush of your baby, that madness of love. Do not fear the feeling of not being yourself. After all, not only was a baby born, a mother was also born.
- Trust in you. You will love your son very much and you will be a good mother. Trust your body, it is prepared to give food and shelter to the baby. You can take care of him and make him happy, he needs you and you will do well.
- Remember that first of all you are both. Say no to the visits you don't want, sweetly but surely. You need privacy and rest. If the house is messy, it is not the most important thing in the world.
- Asks help before being overcome. Express your concerns and your needs. If you can't with the house, don't be martyred. Remember that before, women from the postpartum received care from other experienced women and collaboration in the tasks. The most important thing is that you rest and take care of the baby. If you have other children, seek help to do so.
- Rest well whenever you can. Lie down when the baby sleeps. Pigtail or sleep next to the baby, so you will not wake up so much or reveal yourself when you ask for the breast.
- Breastfeed Remember that your milk feeds, that there are no watery milks. Banish that and other myths about lactation. Get in touch with real experts, who support breastfeeding and know about it. Go to a support group if you have any questions or concerns. Breastfeeding will help you both emotionally and bodily to achieve balance.
- Look for the emotional support from other experienced and sensitive mothers. Find out if there is a parenting support group in your area. Ask yourself if a doula may be necessary and do not discard the idea as novel. If you feel alone or isolated, surely other mothers can help you.
- connect to your baby, learning to understand his messages. Babies do carry "instruction manual" themselves. If we accept the idea that the child is able to identify what he needs and ask for it, it is much simpler. The other mammals have only their instinct and communicate with their young. Trusting ours we can do it. You have to let go of instinct and rationalize less.
- Forget the clock. Your rhythm is that of the baby. Breastfeeding has no schedules. Do not count the shots, let the baby live attached to your body. Hide the clock. It won't be forever. But in these first days. Grant it. Worth it. You invest in happiness, and that is worth more than anything, so if you can, hire help.
- Do what you feel, not what they tell you. It is time to make you freer. The opinion of others does not have to be your guide. Grant yourself to do things as they make you happier, not as "you have to do it". Throw out preconceived ideas in the trash, and let yourself flow. You can take the baby in your arms everything you want, so go ahead, reinvent everything and raise your little one as it leaves your heart.
There are more things that a puerpera should take care of. Your body is in a moment of recovery that will be especially hard if there has been caesarean section. Hormones and physical changes cannot be neglected. The beginning of breastfeeding is not always easy. Intimate hygiene and food are important points to attend. We will try all that to make the birth of this new mother as sweet as possible.
