Speak naturally of our bodies, the least beautiful aspects of pregnancy and motherhood, or gestational losses. This is what the artist Paula Bonet has claimed in a text published on her Twitter profile and that accompanies a photograph of her entitled "Self-portrait in elevator with embryo with stopped heart" and an illustration by artist Louise Bourgeois.
The message, which has been shared by thousands of people, has reached the heart of hundreds of followers who have thanked Paula for speaking openly about the abortion she has suffered, giving visibility to an issue that still remains taboo for much of the society.
A text and an image that invites reflection
Image 1: Self-portrait in elevator with embryo with stopped heart.
- Paula Bonet (@paulaboneti) January 15, 2018
Image 2: The great Louise Bourgeois.
Image 3: What I need to have more words than Twitter allows me. pic.twitter.com/m8UayGruby
"There is little talk about diseases such as endometriosis (and the little budget allocated to investigate it), about giving birth and rejecting the child, giving birth and losing it within a few days, about how expensive the tampons and compresses are (which have the same VAT as caviar, even if they are products of first necessity), of the disgusting and painful nausea of the first trimester of pregnancy, it is not said that there is hardly any literature on motherhood (going to war is more heroic and it seems to interest the publishing industry and the great mass more), or that in 20% of the cases you will most likely lose what you have in the womb before it becomes a fact and right fetus. losses in a year. And it is overwhelming that nobody has the case of cases that exist: when it comes to our bodies, everything is taboo. "
"We don't have to speak softly or hide information, we have to know what we are facing in order to be prepared."
"Finally I want to make it clear that I make this post because yes, not with the aim of receiving comfort, I knew that this could happen again, I also know that I have the love of all those I love."
"Let's talk about these things, let's start normalizing them."
This is the text that accompanies the photo of Paula Bonet, pregnant but with the embryo stopped, along with an incredible illustration of the artist Louise Bourgeois. A photo and some words that have excited thousands of people, who have felt very identified with each of the ideas that Paula has transmitted.
You have taboos for society
What the artist says is a reality and still continues today having a great social taboo around certain issues such as menstruation, sexuality, infertility or certain aspects related to motherhood.
Many women admit want to talk about it and meet the rejection or indifference of the interlocutor. Perhaps the fear, ignorance or discomfort of not knowing what to say causes situations that lead many people to silence what they are living.
The first topic Paula reflects on is endometriosis, known as "the silent disease" due to the late delay in its diagnosis. A disease that sometimes causes a lot of pain to the sufferer, reduces the quality of life and causes infertility. But nevertheless Little is said about her, although 15% of women suffer in our country.
Another of the taboo themes that the artist talks about are the gestational and perinatal losses.
Losing a baby when pregnancy is still early can be a very painful experience for women, but in general, it is poorly understood by the environment, which does not know how to say the right words of comfort and understanding that mother needs.
Why is it so hard to understand that that baby was already part of that family's life? That his parents and siblings were waiting for him excitedly? It was an illusion and a new life project that in the blink of an eye ends, leaving the mother's heart and belly empty.
And if gestational losses occur over and over again, from my experience I will say that misunderstanding increases even more, to the point that sometimes it is we ourselves who choose to silence what we are living: why talk if it is likely that don't understand my pain?
Sad. Very sad and unfair that women who they want to talk to overcome their duel, or normalize what has happened to them, they have to keep quiet so as not to bother others, so as not to make them sad or not to take an answer that is not what they expected to hear.
In the case of perinatal losses, which take place in the last stage of pregnancy or within seven days after the baby is born, the silence and behavior of the environment can be terribly heartbreaking. On more than one occasion, in Babies and More we wanted to give voice to this sad reality, because silencing it not only does not mitigate the pain of the families that are going through it, but it can increase it by finding themselves helpless and misunderstood.
Equally, we should respect and give voice to women who do not live their pregnancy fully, neither physical nor emotional. Because not all women get along, enjoy it and smile at every moment. Y this other face should also be visible and not feel guilty for not being able to show the world what advertising, cinema or part of society expects of us.
And we must not forget the trance that some women go through after giving birth: postpartum depression, rejection of the baby born, feeling of loneliness and expectations of motherhood that they feel have not been fulfilled. And this also happens, although many people find it uncomfortable and strange to hear about it.
Never should a mother feel alone, and all of them, at one time or another, should we be able to express freely and if we wish so our fears, doubts, experiences or difficulties. Feeling clothed, supported and, above all, not judged or criticized.
That is why it is so important not to silence or silence those who wish to talk about what they are living. Sometimes we may not know what to say, but in those cases a sincere hug and active listening can be the best support.Via @Paulaboneti
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In Babies and More Endometriosis, Infertility, Prenatal and Neonatal Death, Natural Abortion, Postpartum Depression
