Can something normalize that is unusual? I suppose it is difficult, because nowadays normal is normal and at the moment when it is not frequent, most reject it and consider it abnormal, but let's try.
I'm going to try because to me the story of Trevor MacDonald Yes it seems normal, and also beautiful. And like all beautiful stories deserve to be told because if it doesn't seem that we only remember the most tragic things, this will not be an exception: the story of the transgender father who decided to breastfeed his babies.
He was born a woman, but he felt closer to the male gender
Trevor MacDonald is 31 years old and eight years ago he brought about a change that allowed him to live more according to what he felt: he changed his name and started with a hormonal treatment to modify its external appearance. The next step would be the hysterectomy, the removal of the uterus, but he did not feel that he was in a hurry to carry out this intervention and that allowed him, years later, to have two children with his partner Ian.
Once they were born (the oldest is 18 months old and the little one is 5 months old), he thought that he could also breastfeed the babies and feel that connection that men cannot feel, but mothers who breastfeed. He had no trouble doing it at home but the awkward moment for him came when they went out to eat with the baby.
They were having dinner at a restaurant when the baby started crying for food. The last thing I wanted was to set up a scene that would attract looks and comments, so went to the men's room to breastfeed the child. That absence of the table for a long time, to stay in the sink, caused the strange looks of the people and the waiters and this was the beginning of a change.
He began to explain his experience in a blog
A change he felt he had to make because fear of the opinion of others led him to hide in the toilets, "for the supposed evil of feeding a baby with my body," he says in The Guardian. In addition, his transgender status with children has led him to receive conflicting opinions, that of those people who only see in white or black: or is it a man or is it a woman. Opinions that almost asked him to choose what he really wanted to be.
Seeing what he was living and how he was living he started writing a blog to tell his experiences as a transgender father. The most striking was his role as a nursing father, which he explains based on what he has managed to do: despite chest surgery, Trevor has managed to produce breast milk, which combines with artificial milk that makes him reach Your baby with a cannula inserted in a bottle.
His blog was becoming increasingly known among transgender people and many people began asking him how he felt, what the experience was like and what did he do when he received criticism from society. Seeing that the dimension of the publication was growing, he decided to go further and, together with a research team from the Canadian Institute for Health Research, designed a series of works related to the world of transgender people. All this derived in the book that has presented recently: 'Where is the mother? Stories of the transgender dad '.
If he is a man, why breastfeed?
I have met Trevor in La Vanguardia, and there several people have left their comments giving their opinion on their decision to give birth and breastfeed, as well as in the same newspaper The Guardian.
As you can imagine, there is no lack of those people who say that if she has given birth and breastfeeds, then she is a woman. But it isn't: it's Trevor, he's a man, and he says that despite pregnancy and lactation a man has always felt.
Then there are those who say that if he decided to be a man he should not do things that women do. And I ask you, why not? Your body allows it, why refuse it? Because we who are born men cannot do it, should he also refuse?
And all because in our head only "man" and "woman" fit, and we have grown by differentiating them in such a way that it is what we accept to feel comfortable and we do not have to modify our schemes: is it a man who was born trapped in the a woman's body? Ok, so change your body, be a man and behave like a man. Is she a woman born trapped in a man's body? Ok, so change your body, be a woman and behave like a woman.
But, What if someone is not comfortable being a man, but neither is a woman? A while ago I shared a video of Lana Wachowski that everyone should see, because it's really revealing. He explains that in his childhood he suffered a lot because as Larry saw that he did not curdle with the boys, but he also saw that he did not curdle with the girls. It felt without identity and as an adult he clung to the female gender because he was the closest to what he felt.
And like her, so many people who change gender because they feel better with the change, but that They may feel that this is not 100% their place. Perhaps the time has come for us as a society to take a step forward and begin to understand that the classification of men or women can remain very poor according to which people, and that yes, it may be normal for a breastfeeding man, although not usual. Isn't he a father giving food to your babies, love and dedication? What's wrong with that?
