Yesterday we started a decalogue with the ten sentences we shouldn't say to a mother who bottles her baby, but for the extension of the entrance we only offered you three of those phrases. The intention is to put a little truth on some of the phrases that are heard, which are nuanced and, above all, ask for every mother the respect she deserves in her decisions.
It is clear that each decision has consequences, and that for each election there are people in favor and people against it, the important thing, for those of us who are close to women who have just become mothers, is that we speak in case they ask us, or in case they are the ones who initiate the debate, but without falling into value judgments or half-truths (difficult not to fall into it, eh?). Today, to continue yesterday's entry we explain three more sentences.
But if children who drink breast milk are smarter!
This is an example of half truth, or what is the same, of half lie. Babies are born in their mother's womb for a certain time: about 40 weeks or so, in which the baby develops in a limited way. They are born with few defenses, they are born very small and not at all autonomous and they are born with very few capacities, totally dependent on their parents. Your brain is just 25% of what will be in adulthood, so it has to follow its evolution, growth and development abroad.
Nature, which has everything in mind, provided women with a tool that would help them: breast milk. As babies are born terribly immature and the placenta does not "finish" work, women have their mammary glands that act as "external placenta" and continue with it. They pass the baby defenses, nourish him and provide him with substances that make his brain continue to grow and develop properly.
What happens when a baby is not breastfed? Well, it has no external placenta and it has a little more difficult in those aspects: it will not receive more defenses, it will receive nutrients, but the nutrients that help the baby's brain development will not be exactly the same. Due, the brain does not develop the same and there are studies that prove it.
Does this mean that children who drink breast milk are smarter? Do not. Nor does it mean that children who drink artificial milk are less intelligent. What he means is that if a baby drinks artificial milk, his brain development will not be the same as if he drank breast milk and, consequently, it could be said that it would have been a smarter tad to have had breast milk. Like me, I drank mostly artificial milk and had been breastfed longer now would be a smarter tad. But ... how much is that tad? It is advisable to breastfeed for at least two years, but after two years the brain of a child continues to grow and mature, and there is still much to grow, so even in breastfed children, much of brain development occurs in the absence of breast milk (if for example from two to six years does not breast).
That is, the difference will exist, but that is why I say that it is a half truth or a half lie, because it seems that with that phrase it is said that babies who drink bottles are less intelligent than those who drink breast milk, and this is false : a child who drinks breast milk is a little smarter than if he had taken artificial milk, but not necessarily smarter than anyone.
Maybe you didn't try hard enough
If a woman gives a bottle by personal decision, obviously there is nothing to say. However, if the first option was breast milk but, for whatever reason, everything resulted in ending artificial milk, there is a personal story of each mother with her baby that only she knows.
Of course, some women say before giving birth something like "I will give breast milk, but if I can not, well bottle, no problem," that basically is no longer logical, because if a baby can not gain weight with breast milk, yes or yes you will have to take a bottle. Now what does "but I can't" mean? Because the power is very variable and there already enter many factors. There are women who start to breastfeed and when they see that they have to do it every hour or hour and a half they say "I can't do it like that" and there are women who breastfeed biting whatever, crying in pain and begging that, please, With that shot, have for at least two or three hours, sweating every time your baby groans because he knows that he will have to feed him again, and that in the end they say "I can't do that".
Among those "I can't" there is a chasm of difference and we all know that, but is this about motherhood, or feeding a baby, a competition to see which mother is more suffering or which mother is more fighter? Because, as far as I know, there is no ranking of courageous mothers where the one who gives the most to the cause receives recognition. So, not existing, nobody has the moral authority to tell anyone "you didn't try hard enough." There are mothers who can endure days and weeks cursing and suffering for trying to strengthen their breastfeeding and there are women who with a few days have enough to be worse than the first. And nobody is better than anyone because, as I say, this is not going to see which one carries it better or which suffers more, this goes from expectations (sometimes the thing goes around here, which nobody has been able to explain to a woman that breastfeeding it can go wrong, and in case it goes wrong you would have to find someone to help you) and go of happiness, of wanting to be happy with your baby, enjoying him and he of you.
All women know, at the time, or with the passage of time, if in case they were in that situation again they would do it differently or do exactly the same. It is not necessary for someone outside to quantify the suffering they have experienced and to put it above or below what they consider acceptable.
Well, I breastfed my baby for over a year and we have done very well
Following a bit with the previous point, speaking of the ranking of more or less suffering women, it seems that there is also the ranking of good and bad mothers, or good and bad practices. Very often, when two women get together, they tend to make comparisons, of those of "ah, because I do it that way and it is going very well for me," which according to the context may sound pedantic.
One thing is for someone to tell you: "And you, how did you feed your baby?", And answer "I breastfed him more than a year and it went very well, I'm very happy, I would repeat, ..." and another that Look at a bottle and say "Don't you breastfeed? But it is the best! I gave my baby more than a year and we have done very well."
In the second case they haven't asked you, you are already saying how well you did it and how well it has worked for you and, by the way, you are reviewing what another person does that has not asked for any advice and that yes, you already know what is best, and that he probably doesn't care much that you did well. Besides, what makes you think that she is going to go wrong? Why bottle children are seen every day with enviable health, right?
And tomorrow, more ...
And again we cut here to continue tomorrow with the last entry (which you can read here) in which we will offer you the last four sentences that we should not tell mothers who bottle feed their babies.
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In Babies and more | Is it compulsory to collect and breastfeed for six years to educate children with respect? Mothers who cannot do more, How to be a passive witness to the failure of breastfeeding
