Three days ago we talked about the family non-conciliation of Sara Carbonero, who will go to Brazil to cover the World Cup leaving Martin, his five-month-old baby on land. At the entrance we talked about her, and we also talked about her partner Iker Casillas, because in the end it is the two that leave the baby alone.
However, we focus on it and this has caused many people in social networks to criticize, support or prefer not to comment on their decision. Among all the opinions I was surprised the ones that labeled me as macho, to talk about Sara, especially, and not so much about Iker: "Why don't you talk about the father?" "Why don't you say that Iker is going to leave his son alone?" "Why doesn't Iker leave with a baby carrier, like in the assembly that heads this post?"
I understand that there are those who bother
Before entering to talk about machismo or not machismo, about Iker or not Iker, say that I understand that there are people who bother you. I don't share it, but I understand it. I understand it because when jobs were created, with salaried workers, they were thought of as labor that produced the more hours they worked. With the woman in a role of caretaker of the weakest, were babies, were the elders, the man dedicated his time and energy to work. The woman also did her thing, of course, but took care of her children in person. When the woman entered to work, when she joined the work, she did it with the same conditions that men did: work without taking care of anyone else. The problem is that, when the man began to work, the women remained, but when the women also worked, there was no one left to take care of the children and the elderly.
To make it less traumatic and more appetizing, interesting things began to be the ones that happened outside the home. The work served to have a greater economic status, and having more money meant being able to spend more, being able to buy more things and be able to appear more. We all know that the best people are not necessarily the ones with the most money. You can't even say that the smartest people have the most money. So confused having money with being someone important. Not having money, therefore, did not help much when it came to value yourself as a person. That is why women who stayed at home did not have much social value, because they were not considered modern or independent.
This is still the case. Staying at home taking care of your children is not listed on social image. Taking care of children, in fact, is a job that other people can do, with few or no studies, charging very little. How will you have a good reputation staying at home with your child, if that is something a worker can do with a minimum salary? Children are not important for society, they are only for consumption, that is why there is so much childish offer: parents replace the time they do not spend with their children with gifts. They will only be taken into account when they can vote or work (and not then, because the majority of young people are unemployed). That's why staying at home with them, educating them, giving them values, an emotional basis and making the future generation better, despite being one of the most important things that adults can do for children, is not recognized by anyone.
That's why I say that I understand it, because things work like this, society revolves in this way and many people think that the best thing parents can do for society and for themselves is to work.
Who talked about conciliation?
Once explained why I understand that there are those who bother, and why there are those who see that it is normal for a five-month-old baby to be left without their parents, because they both go to work (and it seems to be the most important thing), I move on to explain why they talk about Sara and not about Iker.
The first is for a matter of answer. It was she who spoke of conciliation when explaining that she is going to Brazil and that she leaves Martin in Spain, but that what she is doing is reconcile as the other mothers do. Apparently, he said he was leaving a week first, to see what the atmosphere was like there, and if he saw it suitable then they would travel with the child to take him to Brazilian lands with his mother and father.
At the entrance we talked about two weeks, or a month if Spain kept going until the end (and if she considered it unsafe). Basically, although it is not the same, it is similar. A week without his father and without his mother, for a baby of five months, is an eternity. One month, eternity raised to the fourth power.
As I say, it was she who said that she was reconciling work with her family life and of course, that, to reconcile, does not have much. Because if that is to reconcile, businessmen will now be rubbing their hands ... they can do whatever they want, until they change places of work to a woman, even being a mother, because in total, if they do it to celebrities who have money and do not make them lack…
Who has been taking care of Martin so far?
Another of the questions why she is in the photo and not him is because she is your primary caregiver. Babies, at birth, cling to a person. A single person who is your main reference. That to which they will go in case of discomfort. That will give them more security. Mom.
I don't say mom because it has to be her. It can also be dad. But in most cases, being the person who stays in the baby's care most of the time, she is. I have spent many hours with my baby children, but hey, being with them there were always times when they cried with me and not with her. We were both and they chose her. At five months of age, who is more logical to stay with the baby? Whichever the primary caregiver. In this case, Sara.
If you want equality, let's fight for it
That they tell me that I am macho to talk about her and not about Iker, that it is already good, that the world needs more equality, that there are women who want to have the same conditions as men. Well, come on, let's play the game of equality ... let's promote research to definitely achieve extrogestation, that is, babies are born outside, in artificial wombs, to prevent the baby, at birth, has a preference for the mother. Let's promote artificial lactation so that the baby can be fed by the mother or the father and thus have no preference for either. Let us promote that the mother and the father can spend the same time with their baby, receive the same aid for being a working father or mother and, above all, we promote that both have the same leave by birth: 16 weeks.
Ok, we don't like this game. Well, let's play another: let the children manage in the wombs of their mothers, promote breastfeeding as the main diet, since it is normal, but, to balance the balance, we change the casualties. Women two weeks and men, almost four months. Thus they will have gestated and given birth, and will give them breast milk, which can be extracted for times that are not there, and we men take care of them the first months of life. I see no better way to achieve equality, and so we can talk about Sara, and also about Iker.
(I'm being sarcastic, obviously).
Take the baby to parties?
Another reason is the type of work each one has. Iker can hardly take the baby to parties in the baby carrier, but she can. "But the games are too late," you will tell me. I agree. Most are very late, so it makes no sense for Sara to appear like this, as in the photo montage, in the middle of a game. But what about training? And in the press conferences? Surely you also do not travel alone and with her and her baby will be other relatives who can take care of the child. It is not the same to spend a month working in Brazil, being able to see your son in many times, than not seeing him in the whole month. Neither for her nor for the father not for the baby.
That Brazil is dangerous? All countries are if you don't have money. But they have means to stay in a hotel and travel from one hotel to another when necessary. They have means for that child to be like a king when his mother is not there and she will be in charge of making him feel like a king, like every mother, when they are together.
Peter Parker's uncle says (Spiderman) that "Great power carries great responsibility." Sara Carbonero is a working woman known to all Spaniards. He has the means and ability to do what he wants with his son: leave him at home, take him to Brazil to be with him while he doesn't work and even to take it to work. If we were we could not be, the bosses would tell us that we cannot take our babies to work (well, maybe we could and the bosses would be understanding ... you never know). But she, even having a boss, can do it. You can negotiate the conditions, it may even appear like this, as in the photo, and the message would be brutal: "In our society children are the most important, and every child needs their mother, more than anything in the world. It is not who has no one to leave him with, is that there is no one with whom I can be better"As I said in the previous post, a debate would begin such that probably many minds would start to open, many would have to bow their heads and agree with it, and there they would begin, little by little, to give more importance to babies, both in the world of women and in the world of men.
Photomontage | Armando Bastida
In Babies and more | On neomachismo and the raising with attachment, Mother's Day: being a mother is the best job in the world, quality time and quantity of time
