And we keep talking about multiple in our interview series. Today we are going to talk to Gem Cárcamo González, mother of two couples of twins of 13 years and almost 9 years. It is a reference person on the raising of twins in Spanish society in the last decade.
During his motherhood he found the need for support and then for support. This is how she became a breastfeeding consultant, started with a small project, Multilacta, to support breastfeeding in case of multiple births. Then the group was formalized in 2007 with other moms, multiple and simple, and thus emerged Multilacta Breastfeeding, of which I am its president since then. During his maternity he made a medium degree of Nursing Assistant Technician and together with the breastfeeding counseling he began to provide postpartum support to mothers in a professional manner in his Mother and Child Care project.
Breastfeeding in twins can be complicated. What are the most common problems?
Although nature wisely provides us with two breasts to breastfeed two babies, a tit for each, the main concern is usually related to the perception of lack of milk and the need to supplement them. It is true that babies born of multiple births are usually small or immature and / or premature, and this can lead to certain difficulties related to an effective suction that guarantees a sufficient milk supply, but with patience and with help it is possible to overcome them. This added to the fact that they are obviously two different demands and that it is not always possible to breastfeed two at a time until breastfeeding, leaves the mothers with few hands and in need of help at home. The pressure of the family or acquaintances, who try to look for the mother, is sometimes another of the big problems, since they make the mother lose confidence, generating feelings of ambivalence.
What would you advise a mother of twins who wants to breastfeed?
Like any mother, you need to have benchmarks, and nothing better than a group of mothers where to start observing the behavior of babies to the breast and answer all the questions that assail them about breastfeeding. Since there are two babies and double demand, extra domestic help is required at home in order to address issues such as food, laundry, care of other family members and the care of the same. It is very useful the telephone number of a breastfeeding consultant at hand when you need moral and information support.
Your two births have been twins, was there a background in your family?
In my family my maternal great grandmother had three times twins. In fact, my maternal grandfather is a twin of one of those days. It is possible that my grandmother conceived twins at some time, since she had children born alive, and babies who failed to survive. My mother in her third pregnancy had a great hemorrhage in the third trimester that the doctors hypothetically attributed to an evanescent twin. Although they are assumptions, yes, in my mother's family there is something that makes us repeat, sometimes with success and sometimes with less luck the duplicities.
How have you fostered their individuality?
Each twin shares something special and unique with his brother.
But in spite of their similarities, each one has their own personality and that is what we have tried to cultivate, that they are capable of being independent of each other and that they can make their choices freely without being coerced by us or by themselves. They don't like to be dressed the same, and try to use different colors for people to identify them. We call them by name and try to make others do the same, because they feel very bad that they are called "the twins", because each one is called one way. We try to do things together, but also separately with each one, because they are all important, as well as to deserve special attention at specific times.
Is there what they call the "dominant twin"?
From my experience, there are. Sometimes it can be a very subtle perception, and sometimes very obvious and even worrisome. In my two couples there is a dominant and a dominated. The dominant let's continue to be the daring. It stands out more and that is perceived because it can always handle the situation in its favor. In these cases we try to talk with them so that they become aware that none is the oldest or the smallest here, and that in any case it was the doctor who chose who was born a few minutes before, but that does not give the subject the power of decision Not even at home. In the pairs of twins I know, there is always a dominant part.
In your relationships with other children, do you always go together or have your own friends?
They have common partners but they don't always play together. Older people, for example, who have gone to different classes at school, have had common friendships in spite of that and used to share the game. It was already after his separation at the Institute, since one repeated, when I could see that each one has his own companions. The little ones also have common partners and they don't play together for that. One is very athletic and loves to play football, but the other has other types of games and is usually, curiously, closer to the women.
Do your likes and hobbies look alike?
The older ones have very similar hobbies, they love football, they play together, and they seduce the same disciplines, but the little ones don't, the little ones don't like the same games, although most of the time they go a little what the brother does, by imitation until they see that it makes no sense and they get tired and follow their own. Being together at home, they don't always play together and can spend the afternoon quietly separated on different things, now to sleep, always together. What they all are, very geeks.
Is it difficult to raise twins or is there a form of balance that they help in their demands?
It is not as difficult to raise twins as to raise two brothers who take a little time.
Perhaps it seems easier to raise twins because you both have similar needs and it is possible to meet them at the same time without requiring a priority. In addition, as they are always together and accustomed to sharing with each other from within the womb, they are more patient and help us a lot to find that point of balance that prevents us from going crazy. It is easier to reach agreements with them because they understand that mom or dad cannot multiply.
How does the bond between them evolve in childhood and adolescence?
During their childhood their relationship intensifies because they know that together they can do more things and protect themselves. They have always had a special connection between them, they sleep together, and they can even go to the bathroom together if necessary. It is wonderful to see them grow together and see how important values such as respect and patience develop when sharing things they cannot have repeated. They keep company and always have a friend next door although when fighting disputes they are fierce. They know they are needed, but also that they require their own space. They know when they need to be alone from time to time. When you begin to perceive the first glimpses of puberty, in the case of the elderly, the love-hate relationship becomes stronger and in my opinion, the dominance of one over the other is seen more. This stage is finding me a bit difficult, and that has just begun.
We thank Gem Cárcamo, lactation consultant and mother of twin twins, the interview he has given to Babies and more We are sure it will help you better understand this fascinating universe of the multiple. We are not done, we will still bring you to an expert psychologist who will tell us more.
