Not long ago without going any further, about 30 years ago the playgrounds in this country were somewhat different from those now invaded by our kids every afternoon.
The preferred material was the metal dotted with a piece of wood instead of the cork and the flame retardant plastic that we see now. And it was nothing crazy to find a loose tip or screw shatters pants. That we left with one or two bumps of more than we had entered was our daily bread. It was what it was, and you didn't protest because it was "normal" (and it wasn't going to help much). You went there to play without worrying about what would happen.
Today the picture is very different and I wonder if we overprotect our children.
Now our parks look more like an asylum room or NASA's astronaut training room than a park we remember. If a child is harmed, it is because of the stubbornness of some to open their heads or the vandalism of others, that there has always been. And we have passed from the threat "how you fall i give you a whip"What did your mother say to"Wait for me to go up, you can fall".
Not so much, nor so bald
At what time have we lost the middle term? Is it that our children are now more important to us than we were to our parents? As a father, I don't want anything bad to happen to my son, that's a priority. But how am I helping him if I take him through life between cottons? If I never let him do anything by himself?
I have an obligation to ensure your safety, that is clear to me, and not only now that he is a child, but always. But not removing all the dangers that may be in his way, first because it is impossible, and second because how can I teach him if I only tell him that there are dangers, but he never sees any?
I must indicate the guidelines so that he can live the rest of his life under certain security, but it must be he who, at his own pace, and not ours, is applying these guidelines. What good is having it between cottons until he is of age? Does it help him or maybe I am helping myself to live more quietly?
We have controlled him all his life. We accompany our children to school until they are embarrassed enough to ask us not to do it anymore. And one day they tell us that he is older, that he is already an adult and can do whatever he wants. And that's it, we let him fly through enemy fire without first teaching him to dodge the bullets. And so we have out there a very insecure young adult of himself and without the slightest experience.
Do we believe that he will become a responsible adult in a couple of hours when we let our son go out partying if we have been telling him all his life what he has to do without letting him take responsibility for his actions? And we will ask for laws that prohibit this and that, when it is we who should have taught them not to need someone to forbid something that is not good for him or those around him.
Are they who do not want to grow, or are we who do not want them to grow?
The excuses
Holy Son Syndrome, our son never, never is the bad one and it doesn't matter what the others say he didn't do it. At most he was forced by his friends.
I don't see it all day, do youI will not say no? Or what is the same absent father syndrome. We feel that we do not dedicate enough time, but letting him do what he wants because of the fact that you are not the only thing he does is that you despise yourself and that you are still absent despite being there with him. Make up for it in other ways, but not like that.
Does that mean I shouldn't worry about my son?
Not at all. I am sure that if you ask your parents when they stopped worrying about you, their response will be that they still do. It is not to stop worrying about what to learn but to live with it.
Sooner or later our children will fly, that has always been the case and will continue for a long time after we leave, for a child to leave, but we will always have the pride of a job well done. Of course, that is never guaranteed.
Do you think you overprotect your children?
