Yesterday we have offered the first part of the interview to our Armando, in which he answered some of the questions that you have sent him.
Today we continue talking with him about punishments, violent games and his particular vision on some controversial issues.
Why when we have a conflict with someone, a boss, someone unfriendly, we can't even raise his hand, however many people still believe that the "slap in time" with children is a good idea?
For the same reason why it is wrong to hit a woman, because an adult does not have to teach anything to another adult, nor educate him or anything like that. In the past, strength was worth many things, even to educate your wife. If he did something wrong, you hit him and he learned. You can even read in the Old Testament passages in which it is advisable to stone your child (already an adult) if he does not obey you, or do horrible things with your wife for nothing and less. In the last century, luckily, mistreatment of women has become frowned upon. Now the woman is considered the same as a man, never inferior, and that is why men do not have the power to educate them, much less to beat them to do so. That's why you don't hit an adult. However, children have to be educated and many parents still think that by giving them a touch (a slap as a warning) they are being well educated. Now it is forbidden to hit children, so it is a matter of time for society to make the same change that was made with women, but this time with children, who internalize that hitting is wrong, always, and that they learn to use other less harmful and humiliating educational techniques or methods.
Do your children see action drawings and then imitate the fights? Do you play scrambling and fighting? Have you ever been upset? If so, how do you solve it?
Yes, they play fights a lot imitating drawings they have seen. I do not usually play that with them, because it is not a game that I enjoy too much. I do let them play because they like it and because, in a way, it is normal for them to imitate what they see. At first I worried a little, but I have seen that they are able to separate reality fiction and that because they play fights they don't fight anymore or are more violent afterwards (they usually argue without sticking, especially Jon ... to Aran, for having 4 years and expressing himself worse still escapes his hand on occasion). If they ever hit me, yes, they hit me. The solution is simply to explain that I understand that they may be upset and that if they are, explain to me what happens to them, why they are angry, what worries them. So I can know what problem they have and so I can change or try to solve the problem if possible. If they hit me they don't earn anything, because I can't understand what happens to them, because they hurt me, and they don't hurt the people you want and because if they hurt me, I also get mad at them and so we all end up losing.
Exposing your family in a public place is a personal option, however, I think you have sometimes criticized parents who have child actors, models, etc. Don't you expose yourself to yours in the same way, explaining in detail to thousands of people you don't know, how they live, eat, sleep, clean themselves, dress, play, pee or poop? Don't you think it's contradictory?
I do not criticize the parents of child actors or models. If anything, if I have ever talked about them, it is because there are parents who use their children for personal gain regardless of whether children really like that world or if they would not rather be doing other things. As I do not do any of this with my children because all I do is explain how I educate them and this does not affect them in their daily life I am more than calm.
When you expose in a non-personal blog like this, such radical approaches to issues such as school (for you, most schools and teachers are bad or worse), health personnel (for you, 99% are ogres and hospitals are less what places of torture), etc., and in addition to the way in which what you say looks like a dogma of faith, do you stop to think about the readers who belong to those groups and who do their work the best they can or do they leave them? You assume that your experiences are applicable to other mortals, have you ever thought that what happens to you may not happen in other places? (To me most of the situations you raise both in schools, in hospitals and in daily life seem surreal, outdated, or directly unbelievable)
That what I raise seems radical is a subjective opinion. To me personally it seems nothing radical, but a logical way to see the upbringing of children and a logical way to explain that children can also be educated respecting their rhythms, their needs and their desires. I understand that there are many people who may think differently from me, because I actually thought differently a few years ago. Changing your mind, getting rid of the majority thinking that says adults know exactly what children need better than children themselves and eliminating violence both in language and in acts (physical violence, punishment, etc.) is not Easy for everyone, especially because it is what many people have sucked from their parents and their environment. So I understand that there are people who have not yet made that change or even who will never do it. I only intend to explain my way of seeing life and my way of seeing many things, not to criticize people, but to acts. When I criticize the school, health personnel, a psychologist or a parent, I don't do it to annoy those groups, but to talk about the acts, how it is being done and how I think it should be done. I say all this and express thinking about the children, their well-being and how I would like them to do it with me if I were a child again. As for the percentages, I am sorry to say that you are very wrong, as in the concept. It is absurd that I think that schools are bad or worse and then take my children to one (though that is contradictory). Let's say that they do many things well, and that many other things do not do them so well, that they are the ones that I incite. In relation to "99% of ogres" in health workers, Idem, I don't know what you are based on. I work every day with nurses, doctors, pediatricians and assistants, and yet I only make specific comments about things that happen to me that I think could be done better. If I wrote entries with all the things I see or things that happen to me the majority would be positive and a minority would be the criticisms, but of course, people who usually talk about are bad, what collides, what comes out of the rule. It makes no sense for me to make an entry saying "I have taken my son to the pediatrician, I have explained my problem and he has given me a solution" because it is normal, it is expected. However, if I go to the pediatrician, I expose my problem and tell me very strange things, or if they tell me that I can not stay with my son because they are going to draw blood or if they explain things to me without sense about feeding, breastfeeding or other issues that I think should dominate more, because then I do think that the same thing that happens to me can happen to someone at some point in time and that's why I talk about it, because I can know that what they tell me is bad or strange, but not everyone can know it and because many, many people believe closely what health professionals and teachers tell you, and watch out, I don't say that doctors don't know and that teachers Do not know how to educate, I only say that there are some who may be wrong in some things and that, according to the information they give, can harm (or much damage) a baby or child.
What do you do for practical purposes to change or improve everything you criticize? (Ex. Collection of signatures to change the education system, membership in associations, under the protection of your school or the school board, to some commission of your health district, ... that kind of thing)
Well, all I can in the little free time I have left after working as a nurse, writing in a non-personal blog, raising and educating my three children in the best way I can (that is, dedicating them time) and trying to That the house is still standing on a daily basis. Focusing on my role in this non-personal blog I can say that, fortunately, it helps many people who do not hesitate to contact me via mail to express their doubts and problems, so as they usually say, just with my work has served so that a single person has changed his mind or, at least, has decided to review his beliefs, I am satisfied. In fact, I don't aspire to more. I only explain my experiences and offer my opinions in case someone finds them useful.
It has been the first time we have tried this formula and it has been a very beautiful experience. Of course, we want to thank our Armando your collaboration and willingness to answer the questions you have asked. Thanks Armando!
