It seems that the screams were harmless, are the product of a moment of rage and vanish in the air, but in our children they leave deep marks on a psychological level and affect their behavior. That's why I suggest educate without shouting for a more harmonious family life and to be able to say Enough shouting in this house!.
Sometimes family dynamics plunge us into a whirlwind of chaos in which it seems that only a good shout can stop it. But a scream does not solve anything, it does not cause the child to change a bad behavior, on the contrary, it will leave traces on his personality. The scream paralyzes, frightens, but does not educate.
When we shout we don't say sweet things, the shouts are often accompanied by threats, blackmail and disqualification. They are nothing less than the manifestation of violence, not physical, but psychological.
Words and screams can become as or more harmful than physical abuse. As the psychologist Ramón Soler, a specialist in educating without violence, told us in an excellent interview that offered us "Screams, threats and blackmails are psychological violence".
Avoid shouting at home
I recognize that sometimes I am quite squeaky and that I have to make a double effort to avoid shouting at home. But since I don't like screaming or that my daughters grow up with a screaming musical curtain, we work together to avoid it.
There are techniques to control the anger that overwhelms us at a given moment before a moment of anger. Before losing control of the situation and exploding in screams and disqualifications, we can stop it.
We must stop, freeze the scene for two seconds and look at each other as protagonists of a movie. As adults, we have to learn to control anger, set the brake when we lose control.
It even helps me to cover my mouth with my hand to avoid screaming and saying things I don't want to say.
Managing aggression and controlling yourself is complicated when we feel overwhelmed, but it is in us to exercise self-control, self-knowledge and self-analysis to improve as parents and to educate our children without violence.
The authority is not exercised by screaming, on the contrary the screaming makes us weaker because they mean that we are not able to control and reverse a negative situation.
Screaming parents, screaming children
Another consequence of growing up with screaming parents is that the children see in their shouts something everyday and also They become screamers.
They adopt it as a valid form of communication. They are children who shout at other children and also at their parents and siblings. You get to a point at home where talking in a normal tone is strange.
To avoid this, the first thing to do is set an example. Parents must learn to control ourselves before shouting and for that we must try to recognize the symptoms of anger to avoid exploding.
We have to transfer that to our children. Understand your feelings from empathy and without violence. Teach them to express their emotions and frustrations through healthy communication without shouting.
You can educate without shouting
It seems difficult when it has already been established at home as a form of communication between parents and children, but it is possible educate without shouting.
So, today I propose to do an exercise of self-analysis, put into practice the self-control to be able to say at once Enough shouting in this house! (the signs denote emphasis, not shouting).
Photos | Melissa O'Donohue and mdanys on Flickr En Peques and more | Avoiding shouting helps improve family relationships and promotes healthier development in children In Babies and more | Five basic steps to breed positively and without punishment, Educate without shouting, a recommended book
