A few weeks ago we talked about one of the most “hot” topics of raising babies, the take them or not in arms in case they get used. Following the thread of this post I bring you today an excerpt from an interview with Carlos Gonzalez made in the portal Criatures.cat in which he talks about this topic.
The interview is in Catalan, but subtitled in Spanish and, although it is brief, it explains enough to give us an idea of their way of looking at the upbringing and their way of thinking about it, very similar to the one we defend in Babies and more.
Bad habit is getting used to something bad
Carlos González has the ability to explain things in a way that you say: “cone, if it is common sense. ” Well, it may not be skill and simply explain things that are common sense. As he comments in the interview, bad habit could be defined as getting a baby used to doing something bad or getting used to receiving inappropriate treatment.
Getting used to crying because someone has decided that they shouldn't catch you is a negative for a baby, because babies use crying precisely to request what they need. If being in the arms of their parents is a necessity and crying is the calling mechanism, the parents should take the child in their arms if they cry to meet that demand.
So you have to catch it whenever you cry?
"Let's see, always, always, always, in this world is impossible". As he explains, a child who cries must be taken whenever possible and that is what he wants. If he cries because you are taking a shower and he wants to be with you, it is clear that you will not be able to take it, if he cries because he is trying to go out on the balcony but you do not want him to go out because it is cold and you take it, the chances are that he will get even more angry to catch it in his arms, because what he wants is not that, but open the door for him.
In other words, children must be given what they need if it is not dangerous or harmful to them. Dad and mom's arms are not dangerous or harmfulOn the contrary, they are the shelter that a baby needs, precisely, when he has felt danger.
No need to get used to living without arms
"If you get used to being in your arms, then you won't want to live without them." More or less this is the typical phrase that is usually said. If we turn this sentence around we should say that, so that a child can live without asking for the arms of his parents, we should accustom them not to be caught.
The funny thing is that, as he explains Carlos Gonzalez, if we put before us two 6-year-old children, raised in a different way, one of them with as many arms as he has wanted and the other being accustomed since childhood to live without them, nobody will see a difference in terms of need for arms because neither will ask or want the arms of his father or mother.
In a nutshell, It is not necessary to teach not to ask for arms, because when a child grows up, he will simply stop needing them.
Dad and mom's arms are not a whim, they are an affective need, they are a hug, they are love, affection and caresses, they are safety in times of crisis, they are the livelihood when fatigue grows worse, they are kisses that come everywhere , they are the warrior's rest, they are ...
If as a child, when he did ask to go in his arms and yes he asked you to listen to him all the time you would not listen to him and let him cry, well, what he has lost and what you have missed as a father.
