A move is not just any change in the life of a family. From the discussions in the couple to the fatigue of the transfer, it goes through stressful situations that affect everyone, but especially the little ones. It is likely that at one time or another we will be immersed in a change of home, so here we leave you the keys to survive a move with children.
It is logical that such a change affects children's sleep, their mood, their appetite ... But we want to minimize these effects and also, in some way, prevent major evils, such as moving a trauma for the little ones.
This fact, that of childhood trauma, has recently been studied by a team of researchers in the United Kingdom and Denmark and has concluded that there are possible long-term adverse effects of family transfers, more intense effects if they have place during adolescence and childhood (among others, risk of suicide, substance abuse, violent crime, mental disorders ...).
But, even thinking that these will be exceptional and extreme cases, we can prevent those others negative consequences of moving for children, immediate consequences that will make the transition easier for the little ones and for the whole family.
And it is that a move to a new neighborhood, to a new city, to a new country, is very stressful, especially in the latter case, when you leave the old home, family and friends far away, you have to change schools, many times of language ... But, in any case, adapting to a new environment always involves a certain degree of fear, of anxiety.
In these situations, babies are probably those who least perceive the change and more quickly adapt (although this does not mean that they will not notice the stress around and affect it for a few days). Up to three years the little ones also adapt easily, especially if we maintain the previous routines.
Major problems exist after four or five years, when children are more aware of the change (even if they do not understand it), that they leave behind their home, their school, their family, their friends ... and which it also affects plus the nervousness of the parents. Having seen this, we turn to specific advice so that the move goes in the best possible way.
How to survive a move with children
One of the most important tips is that parents have to keep calm as much as possible, for their own sake and that of the little ones. In this sense, we must also avoid discussions in front of the little ones.
Although it costs us parents, due to stress, if we maintain a positive and cheerful attitude to change they will somehow be "infected."
It is advisable to prepare the children before carrying out the move, taking into account the particular needs of each child, clearly and sincerely explaining the reasons for the transfer, without thinking that it is arbitrary, which would make understanding and acceptance difficult. Whatever the reason for the transfer, they should know it.
We can, being realistic, highlight the positive qualities of the place we moved to (city, neighborhood, house ...) for children to see an incentive. Never idealize the new destination.
In relation to the previous point, visit the new place you will go to live (whenever the distance allows it, if it is not possible, look for information online to see that new city or country ...).
It is convenient to know the attractions and incentives of this new environment, taking into account the tastes of each child (leisure facilities, sports, culture, nature ...).
It is convenient for children to know stories of other families to whom a move brought them advantages and positive things, and in this sense we can also resort to humor movies, stories for the little ones ... but always avoiding sweetening and idealization.
For school-age children, it is advisable to gather all possible information about their new school, facilities, characteristics ... If it is possible to visit it before, it will improve adaptation.
Regarding logistics, we must ensure that all the child's belongings arrive without problem, that his toys, his clothes are not lost ... Having everything well located will help the installation in the new home.
It involves children in the decoration of the new house, especially their room. They can help you choose and assemble furniture, choose pictures, posters, paint, accessories such as the bedspread or bed cushions ...
The less a child participates in making decisions for the new place of residence, the less he will understand the change and the more tax he will consider.
If the house is near the old residence and the transfer can be carried out gradually, the child will love to help in the move and gradually organize his room, leaving his toys and other possessions, his games room ...
Once the installation is complete, you should try as far as possible to return to the routines before the transfer, such as lunch and dinner schedules, bathing, going to bed ... With this normality, the change will not be so abrupt.
If the family has just gone through a traumatic situation (divorce, death ...), it may be convenient to postpone the transfer for some time so as not to add this pressure and added change to the children. By giving them (and giving us) time to adapt to the new family situation, we establish firmer bases to initiate another important change such as a move.
The same happens in the case of important changes in the child's evolution, such as removing the diaper or moving from sleeping with the parents to another room. Better to wait a few months, until the child has adapted to the new home.
Most experts point out that the best time to make a move is in summer, in a period of school vacations, because in this way the course is not interrupted for children who already go to school. Therefore, maybe some of you are in a moving situation right now and we hope we have helped you with these recommendations.
It may take more or less time, because after all, insecurity is logical in an unrecognizable environment, but the usual thing is that the child is finally at home. Anyway, these, which can also cost us more for the elderly depending on our ability to adapt, as is logical will also be different in one or another child.
Even two little brothers can present many differences in this sense, for example if one of them is more open and outgoing, with ease to make new friends, and on the contrary the other costs him more for his shy character. Then, we will have to attend to each of them as we can best help you.
It is important to talk with them (as in everything in this complicated path of education) and answer the questions of your children with the utmost sincerity, because the more information they have, the better they will understand the situation and the less will be the fear of the unknown.
The main advice to survive a move with children It is the open and positive attitude with which parents should face change, since in this way we transmit security to the little ones. If you are in this situation or have gone through it, do not stop telling us how everything happened in your case.
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In Babies and more | Moving and children, If you move to a better neighborhood, will your children's future improve?
