Babies are born with a very immature brainTherefore, it is considered that it must still grow and develop up to 75%. In other words, at birth, the baby's brain is just a quarter of what will be in the future, When it is older.
The brain grows as new neuronal connections are made, and these connections depend on the experiences and stimuli that a baby receives. This means that the parents are responsible for creating adequate bases for the child to develop properly and to mature socially, psychologically and emotionally healthy.
How? How to help our baby's brain development? Let's see it:
In the first years thought and response patterns are created
It is known that in the first three years the baby's brain grows to the point that thought patterns and response patterns already appear. This is that the child already has analytical capacity, of thought, of reasoning, and that he begins to make decisions based on what he has learned, in a reflexive way.
This means that in those early years it is important that the child develops properly so that your reasoning, thoughts and reflections help you to be a person of good. And it is that the baby's brain is not a carbon copy of the brain of the parents, as previously believed (it was thought that if a father was a brilliant scientist the son had to be by inheritance), but the fruit of said genetic inheritance (yes it is true that some skills are inherited) together with an environment that makes it conducive.
Come on, that if the environment is not adequate, if we do not offer a baby what he needs to develop properly, the mere fact of inheriting qualities will not make him achieve the same successes as his parents. This, in fact, has been documented in studies that show that for a child and his future it is not the same to be born in one place than in another (referring to social classes, especially).
And what does a baby need to develop properly?
As parents, we must try to cover, in our baby, not only the physiological needs that we solve with such care (food, a safe place to sleep, etc.), but also the psychological ones, which in many cases we have not yet just Believe important. A baby needs:
- Feel special, loved and valued: Many call it "having the spoiled child", causing "mamitis" and things like that, but in reality it is very necessary for the baby. You have to know that we love you, that it is a privilege for us to have you among us and to be part of our lives and that we will always love you, whatever you do. If anything, the thing to keep in mind is that it is not overrated, so that the child grows up believing that the world owes him something (then we talk about this again).
- Feel safe: that it is nothing other than avoiding fears and sufferings that you are not prepared to control or overcome.
- Grow in a predictable environment: That the child has stability, that the family behaves in a coherent way, that he can gradually understand how the people around him live and thus, in passing, understand how he lives.
- A person to guide you: someone to help you move forward, to serve as a reference, as a model to set yourself to learn to live and learn to be. A father and / or a mother who knows that children learn more from what they see than from what they are told.
- A balance between freedom and limits: so that he is free to move forward in life and make choices, but have clear and logical limits that teach him that his freedom ends where that of others begins, and that one cannot wish for others what one would not wish for itself.
- Receive appropriate stimuli for their age and maturation: so that he can develop his tastes, his abilities, his language, his abilities… that the child is exposed to different environments in which he can communicate with children and diverse adults, where he can interact with different toys, where the rules can vary from one site to another, where you have the possibility to speak, listen, play, explore, read, paint, listen to music, dance, etc.
That is, a child has to be able to live in the place where we would have liked to live as children, or even in the place where we would now like to live: the one where we could eat properly, without haste, with food. varied and healthy; that in which we were with warm, friendly, receptive, communicative people; an environment in which we had time to have fun and let our imagination fly; that in which we had good books to read and learn; a place with music that we liked and made us get excited and dance; an environment with freedom to make our own decisions, to make mistakes and to be able to reflect with other people about our mistakes without feeling ridiculed or humiliated.
What can we do to achieve that environment for our children?
If you look at everything we have said, it is clear that what is sought is the happiness of our children through a treatment, a parenting, that makes us parents happy too. Providing communication and listening will help them be more able to communicate. Allowing you to explore your environment and satisfy your curiosity as you ask more and more questions will help you learn based on your interests and motivations, and raising you in a climate of affection, support and respect will give you greater self-esteem and greater confidence in their possibilities.
Now, surely more than one you wonder what you can do to achieve that balance at home. Maybe these tips can help you:
- Carry out a good prenatal preparation: brain development begins in the first weeks of pregnancy, so it is worthwhile that both the mother and the father begin to take care of themselves (if they do not already) to acquire healthy habits that they can then transmit to their baby: a balanced diet and avoiding the use of drugs, alcohol and tobacco will be positive for the parents and also for the baby. In addition, you will be learning and acquiring responsibility before the moment in which you finally have to take care of your baby to educate and raise him.
- Create a support network: Raising a child in a nuclear family can be very hard for both the parents and the child as well. It is worth creating a network, a community, a tribe, that helps parents get their child ahead and that also offers other environments to the child: activities for parents and children, support groups for parents, having the help from family, friends, etc.
- Spend time with your son: Many people confuse "making the important child feel" with giving him everything he wants or making him believe that he is who he really isn't. That is, they fill him with compliments and congratulations on things they do well, making him believe that they admire and love him for what he is capable of doing and not for being who he is. Actually, what a child needs to feel loved is simply that their parents spend time with him: talk together, play together, count on him for family activities, etc.
- Be affectionate and respectful: It is important for your emotional development that you can grow in an environment where parents love and love you; that there is communication between everyone, warmth, affection, and that there is respect so that they are able, when growing up, to respect others and (and this is very important) demand respect from others.
- Inform you of social norms and standards: A good father is not one who says no to his children as many times as necessary, but he who knows when he has to say no. The rules have to be logical, consistent and have to be argued. Respecting, loving and giving freedom to a child to develop does not mean that parents have to let the child do everything he wants, because, as we have said, children need guidance.
They are still socially incapable and need to be very close to us to see how the world they live in works. For that they must observe, but they must also rehearse, put into practice what they learn. And in that step they can be wrong or choose so that they can harm others: that's when we, as guides and parents, must teach how they could do better, or why the decision they have made can have a negative impact on other people. This, of course, must always be adapted to the child's age and abilities.
Photos | Jan Krutisch, Mysudbury.ca Ouisudbury on Flickr
In Babies and more | The baby's brain grows faster in the hours and days after delivery, The baby's brain: how to help its correct development (I) and (II), Premature birth alters the baby's brain connections
