Just as Jane Goodall will go down in history for being a great defender of primates, Carlos Gonzalez He will do it as one of the biggest defenders of children and especially babies.
Now it seems normal, but years ago it wasn't. He started preaching about raise children with love in a time of total disrespect for the needs of children and a concept of "Westpoint-type" upbringing and had to fight against the tide and endure many misunderstandings and teasing. Fortunately, time, ethics and scientific evidence are proving him right.
His works are essential for parents, very easy to read and very fun:
- Kiss Me a lot. More than 120,000 copies sold.
- My child doesn't eat me
- A gift for a lifetime (about breastfeeding)
Recently he has participated in a conference in San Sebastián, his presentation was entitled "The respectful care of the child"and granted an interview in a local newspaper.
Here you have it complete. I will not comment because it is explicit enough:
The fashion of not taking children in their arms has been imposed because, it is said, they were spoiled. Well, it's the opposite. To spoil means to raise badly, with little affection, without covering the basic needs of the child. The relationship with other people, particularly with the mother, is a basic need of the human being. Due to excess of affection, no one is educated badly.
Up to what age is it convenient to pay attention to the baby at all times? You have to use logic: don't we want adults to listen to us all our lives? Well with children the same. The normal thing is to assist them.
But can't generations of spoiled children emerge? The risk lies in offering them things that one thinks one should not give them. If a child asks you for twenty candies, it is obvious that you will not give them to him. But the problem is that, according to certain educational theories, despite the fact that the little one asks you for something that is not bad for your health and that is within your reach, they tell you to deny it by decree so that you learn that you cannot have it. all. But that is what he will learn as he asks for impossible things! Therefore, when you want something as normal as being caught in your arms, you have to do it. The concept of prohibiting to show who rules here is aberrant.
He does not seem very friendly with the phrase 'we must educate by frustrating'. I don't think frustration educates. Otherwise, they would all be very well educated. Of the thousands of things a child asks for, there are very few that you can really give him. Fucks, let's give them! If the father has to go to work and cannot attend to the kid, what are we going to do to him, but if the little time we are with him asks us to play and ignore him, what relationship do we have? Theories circulate that say the problem is that children are very spoiled. That is false. The kids are given much less than what has been given to any other child in history. I don't mean the one who asks for the Play but the poor kid who wants hugs, pampering and playing.
The generation that receives less affection from history? Yes, for a very simple reason: never before have children of a few months gone to spend 8 or 10 hours in a nursery, a resource that did not exist until the 50s. There are even those who believe it is a desirable experience, because there they stimulate At least we must accept one thing: today's children spend much less time with their parents than a few years ago, which is precisely what they want most. You can't say they always get away with it. It is rather the opposite.
Why abomina of nurseries? In some cases they are necessary, but we should be very clear that they are a lesser evil. The child is better if they take care of their own parents.
But in the nursery the socialization process begins ... Not much less. That is a myth. Children under three years old care about a radish with another child next to it. You see them playing and they don't socialize. You sit four on the floor and everyone is their own. Children socialize when they are older.
He does not commune at all with that vision of spoiled children, even tyrants, who observe psychologists like Javier Urra. I have not read his book, but those who have done so have told me that the title scares even though its content is not bad. Javier Urra, in any case, was the Ombudsman for minors in Madrid. Of course, with such defenders there is no need for prosecutors. If for some reason the children have been raised as they are now, it cannot be said that it is due to excessive affection. We are talking about young people crowded with extracurricular activities, which have grown among kangaroos, who have had everything but affection. The parents, of course, compensate all this with many toys. That child is being given cheap substitutes for what a child is really asking for.
What do you think of the famous Sleeping Child? Is it saint's hand? Estivill, the author, advocates letting the child cry one day one minute, then three, five ... Yes, the system works. After a few days he does not wake up at midnight or bother to make noise because he knows that his parents are not coming. But, after a few years, how do these parents want their son to confess that he is drugged if they have taught him that they will not listen to him since he was two?
