Few things in life can be compared to the experience of having children. It is an adventure that brings with it many emotions and helps us to know skills and abilities that we did not know we had. But also, it can be overwhelming and exhausting.
Personally, I think that the way we live motherhood depends a lot on our attitude and our way of thinking. That's why today I want to share you 11 keys to live a happy motherhood.
I have been a mother for three years, I do not consider myself any kind of expert, I think that along this way I have learned some things that have helped me to have a better experience with motherhood every day. And as I think that good things and that make us happy should be shared, today I share these 11 keys that have helped me live a happy motherhood.
1) Trust your instinct
Start with something that sometimes mothers doubt: our own instinct. When we are first-time mothers or we are experiencing a situation for the first time, it is common that we feel insecure or even doubt our abilities.
Trust your instinct and listen to it, is very wise. If there is something that causes you insecurity, doubt or fear, do not do it. It is true that every mother knows what is best for her baby. Listen to what your heart dictates.
2) Ask for help
One of the things for which I am grateful to be a mother is that I have known my abilities completely and I've realized that I'm stronger than I thought. However, that does not mean that I am the wonder woman and that I never get tired.
We mothers have the right to ask for help and we must do so. It is worth feeling tired, it is worth overwhelming or feeling overwhelmed if we have a bad day. And it is worth asking for help. You are not a bad mom for needing help, you are a person, and like any human being, sometimes you need a helping hand.
3) Pause
This goes hand in hand with the previous point, ask for help. With our mothers routine, it is normal for our day to day running from one place to another, because of our multiple responsibilities as women and mothers. Many mothers could summarize their day in: get up, run from side to side and fall in bed after the children sleep.
Tall. Pause and breathe. The world is not going to stop or the house is going to fall if you stop for a few minutes to get some fresh air and clarify your ideas.
4) Have real expectations
Some mothers "arrive" to motherhood to meet a surprise: It's not the path of roses we imagined. Motherhood is an experience that fills us with joy, but it is also one of the most demanding jobs and we must be fully aware of this in order not to feel frustrated.
We will all have good days and bad days. There will be days when everything is joy, hugs and smiles, and perhaps others in which tantrums were the protagonists of the day. It's okay, it's completely normal and that's real motherhood.
5) Search your tribe
I have said it before and I repeat: it is easier to be a mother if you have a tribe. Counting on a group of women who are going through the same thing as you and who share your idealsIt helps not to feel that you are going crazy or that you are failing as a mother.
Find your tribe, in your city or at your child's school. If you live in a city where you don't know anyone, look for places to talk to moms or join online communities of mothers who share your motherhood style.
6) Take time for yourself
When we are moms, it is easy to forget the importance of having time for us. Between the house, the children, our partner, the work and all the earrings that arise, we end up being the last thing we remember or if we do, we leave for later.
But it is important that you dedicate time for yourself, look for activities that make you feel good and find those moments in the day to give yourself time for mom. Why if you are well, your children will be too.
7) Never compare yourself to other moms
A mistake in which many people fall, with or without children, is comparing ourselves to others. There will always be someone with a newer car, a bigger house, a better paid job or a family that appears to be perfect, but comparing ourselves to them will not make us better or feel good about ourselves. In motherhood it happens the same
Each woman lives her motherhood in a unique and different way from that of the other mothers. Although it may not seem like it, we all have good days and bad days, we all go through this unpredictable adventure. We all do the best we can and what is best for our family.
8) Learn to let go
A great lesson that motherhood leaves us is learning to let go. We carry our babies in our bellies, we have them catchy and then we have to learn how to let them go slowly to the world. But this point is about other kind of things that we should release: the opinions of others.
From the moment we get pregnant it is common to receive advice after advice - which surely comes with the best of intentions - and there comes a point where we are overwhelmed. Let's listen, let's take what suits us and let go of the rest.
The same goes for unsolicited opinions or those that somehow criticize us or make us feel bad. We do not allow it. There will always be someone who disagrees with the decisions we can make. If we wish, we can listen to them to know another point of view, but do not let this affect or bother us.
9) Choose your battles
This point is similar to the previous one, in the sense of releasing or letting go of some things. As mothers, we can have a standard or certain expectations of what we want to achieve, and that's fine. But there will be days or situations in which we must choose whether it is worth it or not to spend time.
For example, there will be days when your child eats everything you serve with a big smile. There will be others in which there is no human power to make it taste bite. Calm down, breathe and don't force the situation, you'll try again later. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose and as the phrase says: sometimes it is better to have peace, than to be right.
10) Take things with humor
I think the sense of humor is essential to not go crazy being moms. Hundreds of things happen to us in motherhood that we probably never imagined would happen and it helps a lot to take them with humor. Learn to laugh at yourself and the follies or mischief of your children. One day they will grow and you will miss those moments.
11) Enjoy
And last but not least: enjoy motherhood. With all the good and the bad that it brings, with laughter and tears. With the tender and chaotic moments. Embrace it, enjoy it. Time flies by, take advantage of every moment.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | The nine reasons why I give thanks every day for my motherhood
