A new year has begun and as usual by these dates we renew objectives in some aspects of our life such as food, health, work, family and also those who are, as parents (if you do not do it is a good exercise) .
Being a father or mother is a facet that forces us to want to be better every day for and for our children, so the first days of the year are ideal to ask ourselves what we want to enrich in our relationship with them. I will share My New Year's resolutions as a mother, do you share them?.
Let them connect with their essence
Through ten years of experience and after observing my three daughters every day I have discovered that each It has its own "essence" (or nature, call it what you want)
It may look more like dad in character or more like mom in the shape of the nose, but each child has their own personality, beyond genetic inheritance. Personality that must be able to express without being judged, without being labeled, or forced to be what they are not.
My three daughters are very different from each other, although they look alike in some things. It is logical, they are sisters, they have common features, both physical and character, but each has its own essence. Unintentionally, parents often repress or try to make the child fit into a mold that does not fit, because it is not theirs.
It is very important that in their childhood children are able to connect with their essence, with what they really are. And for that, you have to let them be. Try to be less controlling, avoid responding and choosing for them and not force them to do what we want or expect from them. Let them be so that they can connect with their essence and discover themselves as people.
Avoid screaming
I confess, I have the easy shout. It will be what I lived in a girl's house, lack of patience, I don't know, but when the cables cross me I can't help it. I hate myself when I hear myself scream, so it's something I want to change. Before the minimum, I raise my voice and that has caused an effect that I don't like either: that my daughters only listen to me when I scream.
It is like an alarm level that has been set up at home. If I ask them to pick up the room in a normal tone, it is as if a train passes by, I think they do not listen to me because it is not an angry tone. It is a green level, there is no danger. Instead, when I hit three shouts the red alarm goes on and that's when they react and pick up the room, or whatever I ask at any given time.
Therefore, as this dynamic that has been generated I do not like anything, on the one hand because I do not want to be remembered as a screaming mom, and on the other because I do not want them to learn to react when potatoes burn, it is one of my purposes for this year. I would say the most important.
For the moment I am doing well, but like everything else, it will be little by little. I join the challenge of the Orange Rhinoceros to educate without screaming. It will be much better for everyone.
Empathize more with my daughters
At each stage of development, every day that goes by, I would say, we are presented with situations with our children in which empathy on our part is essential to resolve them assertively.
The empathy exercise is being built day by day. You will see that as you try it you get it more and more, so that is another of my purposes as a mother: get empathize more with my daughters. I have advanced a lot, but you can always improve. Many times at night I review situations in which I realize that I could have done better, that perhaps I did not know how to put myself in their place or did not know how to help them solve something that worried them.
That they love each other as they are
My daughters get older (10, 8 and 5 years old - you have us at four), and inevitably they are increasingly influenced by fashion, so it is expected of women and other stereotypes that reach them by TV, online, through school ...
They start making comments like "I'm a little fatter", "I don't like my teeth separated" or "I hate my hair". I get the creeps when I hear them, and of course, we have begun to have important talks on the subject.
But you can't loosen up, you have to be there always reminding them how beautiful they are, just the way they are. That are beautiful, unique and special, which do not have to seek the acceptance of others, but only their own.
It is not an easy task and I see that they are growing (what a vertigo!) So, I have proposed this year to be every day a little more attentive to learn to accept and love yourself as they are.
These are my four purposes as a mother for 2015, do you share them? Can you tell me which ones are yours?
